5 Signs you Might be Addicted to Spending Money

Are you addicted to spending?

It’s natural to want to avoid or resist difficult emotions. Some, of them we can suppress. However, they will invariably emerge again, and often more forcefully. People use several mechanisms at different times to evade these emotions: alcoholic binges, self-harm, overeating, recreational drugs, and overspending, among others.

Over time, maintaining these habits (or temporary pacifiers) can cause much harm and lead to lots of debt.

In order to recover from a spending addiction, we need to deal with the disease first before dealing with the debt.

Trying to deal with the debt first can make the road to recovery much harder. The path out of unwise spending habits and debt can be particularly traumatic for over-spenders. That's because the act of spending itself was supposed to make them feel better.

How severe this problem can be gauged from the fact that there is an equivalent of Alcoholics Anonymous for over spenders. It’s called Debtors Anonymous.

Here are five signs you might be addicted to spending:

1. You use money to escape from grief

An occasional  splurge or 'retail therapy' can feel really good! It can deliver temporary relief from sadness, loss or traumatic experiences. However, the problem starts when that becomes compulsion. It’s easy to justify an expensive trip when you ‘need’ to get away from things that remind you of the past or when you're desperate to jump ahead to better times.  

2. You use money for revenge

This is more common among certain married woman who spend money as a way of getting back at their husbands for reasons perceived or real. Often, the purchases are never even used, or they get hidden in the closet and brought out later without comment. Men too may resort to this behaviour if they feel unappreciated but it is much less common. Both money and relationships are important factors in life and must be handled carefully. 

3. You use money to alleviate guilt

Some people buy things or experiences to win forgiveness from someone they love and think they may have hurt. This is fairly common in parents if they feel guilty about being overly strict or not spending enough time with their kids.

4. You use money for company

People sometimes use money just for the distraction or the opportunity to talk to another person, even if it's a shop assistant. You might feel like you need an excuse to call a friend and get together for dinner, drinks or more.

5. You use money to overcome rejection

Setbacks and rejection are a part of life, albeit unwelcome. We usually cope, but sometimes the feeling of rejection and loss of control can be overwhelming. Do you find yourself splurging to get a quick fix in such circumstances?

If you overspend due to emotional reasons once or twice, don’t panic. Forgive yourself and move on.

If, however, you notice a pattern or repeated behaviour, you may be addicted to emotional spending.  

How to tell if emotions drive your spending

If you frequently buy stuff that you don’t use, even when you know that you can’t really afford it, then you are spending emotionally. It's not a healthy habit, financially or otherwise. Chances are we’re all familiar with a few people who fit that symptom. 

What can you do about it?

1. Track your spending and your emotional state

Note what you bought, how you felt when you bought it, and where you bought it from. Try to identify a pattern of emotion that triggers your spending.

2. Practice mindful spending

When you are about to buy something, stop and think. Listen to what your body is telling you. Looking inwards can often be enough to stop you from spending emotionally.

3. Do or acquire something that’s free

Since emotional spending is about the experience of buying something or a trigger for happiness, look for ways to get the same feeling for free. Try connecting with people you care about, see a movie, or cook dinner with your partner or close friend. Human connection can be a powerful and positive drug.

If you recognise one or more of these signs in yourself, talk to a friend you trust. Depending on the severity of your emotional spending, it might be helpful if you talked to a therapist or signed up with a support group like Debtors Anonymous.